With Valentine’s Day around the corner, we’ve got love on the brain. Admittedly, Valentine’s Day is one of those love-or-hate holidays, but it can actually be a great time to feel and show gratitude to those closest in your life. It can even be a chance to practice more self care and kindness towards yourself.
However, we won’t get into gratitude today. You can read all about that here. Instead, our focus is on understanding the various love languages. Because no matter if you’re coupled up or single, being able to identify them can strengthen your relationship with yourself and those closest to you. And we all could use more of that these days.
The concept of love languages was founded by marriage counselor, Dr. Gary Chapman. In his many years of practice, he noticed the same recurring complaints amongst married couples. Neither party would understand what the other person needs, or on the flip side, they wouldn’t feel like their needs are being met.
This could sound like: “I feel like my partner doesn’t love me” and “I’m doing everything I can. I don’t know what more he/she needs.”
Dr. Gary Chapman found that there were 5 common categories of what people said they needed from their partner to feel loved.
These 5 Love Languages are:
Everyone has their own unique interpretation of what they consider love. This could be due to the conditioning and relationships we were exposed to in our upbringings
We can sometimes lose sight of experiences and perspectives that aren’t our own. We might think that certain communication styles are normal because it’s normal to us. Well, Dr. Gary Chapman believes not.
By understanding the different love languages, and which ones apply to certain people, it can increase our capacity for empathy and better our communication skills. It can make us better friends, spouses, and parents.
Don’t know what your love language is? Dr. Gary Chapman and his team created specific quizzes that you can use to learn your own preferences, your spouse’s, or your children’s.
Take their 5 love languages quiz.
Once you’re done, share the results with your loved ones and encourage them to share theirs in return. In honor of the season, let’s work to foster more love, kindness, and understanding for ourselves and one another.
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